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Tuesday, March 9, 2010

When universes collide

I definitely feel like a frugal infiltrator at these Weight Watchers meetings I’ve been going to. First off, I’m guessing that anyone else who’s just crossed the 20-pound barrier would’ve shown up last night in brand new duds. Whereas I pull on a pair of previously too-tight capri-style jeans, relishing the fact that they’ll probably register a few ounces lighter than the jeans I was wearing when I stepped onto the scale last week. Problem is, they’re fraying in areas that wouldn’t even look cool on a fashion model -- one spot near my left front pocket nearly worn through from carrying my cell phone, and another larger section on the inside of one thigh. I don‘t think it will show, unless the frail threads burst and my flab pops out. I top that off with a comfy 20th century turtleneck that retains some of its once-vibrant mauve, then add a navy down vest that matches my secondhand crocs. It works, just barely. I don’t think anyone will notice, which is a good thing because when I arrive, my mom -- the small-town bank president’s wife -- is motioning for me to come join her next to a couple of vaguely familiar relatives.

While they compare notes on their favorite Florida condos, I make a mental note to inquire about babysitting so Bob and I can get away for an anniversary weekend, wondering if the $200 I’ve diverted from our grocery fund will cover our expenses. Finally the meeting starts up, and our perky, stylishly attired leader announces that boxes of Weight Watchers treats are on sale tonight -- just $5 a box!

Sitting in this meeting room of a nearly vacant ex-hospital in the small town where I grew up, I find myself thinking, as I do every single week, what am I doing here? I can’t afford this. We qualify for the reduced school lunch program now, remember? Our daughter could eat 12 reduced-price school lunches for less than the cost of that one box of treats!

But I say nothing. Besides, technically, we can afford this program, because I’ve made room in the budget, provided I stick to the basic attendance fee. I wince to think I’ve paid nearly $80 to lose 21 pounds. But I’ve definitely got more energy. And my mom managed to come back after missing two meetings while she was in Florida and actually lose a pound or two instead of gaining. I have a feeling she wouldn’t have come back if I wasn’t doing this with her, just like I don’t think she’d be walking a few times a week if my sister and I weren’t making time to do that with her as well.

This is what I tell myself, anyway. I’m going to stick this out.

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