Another entry for the predator ad guidebook

The other day I found myself reaching for an unusually attractive member of the bottled beverage species, with psychedelic skin and one of those cute little Smart Cars printed on its thorax. “Green is smart!” read an emblem under the design. “Drink up and you could win!”

That’s when I noticed the ghastly orange fluid lurking beneath the surface. I’d nearly been had by an angler fish -- my daughter's suggested term for ads and marketing techniques designed to disguise products as somehow being good for the environment, even if they‘re not. An angler fish (pictured below) is a scary looking dude that lives deep in the bottom of the ocean, preying on tiny fish and other creatures it attracts with a luminescent stalk on top of its head. Once the prey gets close enough, the angler's jaws slam shut. (I was going to call this variety of predator ad a "green gila monster," but Rowan, the biology fan, pointed out that gila monsters aren't green. "Besides," she said, "they don't fool their prey -- they just pounce."

I’m not suggesting that Sunkist orange soda is dangerous, at least not in small doses. But it is on the "Eat This, Not That" list of the "20 most sugar-packed foods in America."  Consumed on a regular basis, over time, it could very well inflict damage such as cavities, obesity and diabetes.