When it comes to finding gifts for middle-aged people, I no longer think in terms of what we can buy or make them, but how we can reduce their misery index.
I got the idea while talking to an older relative whose birthday we usually try to acknowledge, though often in a haphazard, after-the-fact fashion. We were discussing his birthday, which happened to be of the milestone variety, when he mentioned that he spent it in a very unsatisfying fashion, feeling obligated to attend an event that made him miserable. Though we wound up slipping a pizza discount card in his birthday envelope, it occurred to me that what might have been more useful, and made him happier, was offering to track this particular noxious event in the coming year, note the date on which it was to occur, and suggest alternative ways he could book that time slot on his schedule so that he could say he was busy and couldn’t attend.
When you live with someone, of course, you have a much greater knowledge of their misery index. So when Father’s Day arrived this past Sunday, it wasn’t so much a question of trying to think up ideas as simply settling on one of the many possibilities. The kids and I decided to tackle the tool problem, which really amounted to a two-part gift:
1. Finding all the tools that the kids were always spiriting away and then misplacing in various odd locations.
2. Clearing out the garage, especially all the junk piled on top of the workbench, so that Bob could finally set up a neat, well-organized tool area, especially desirable now that he’s actually developed a knack for using said tools.
As a bonus, Rowan settled on an independent study project clearing out a room that we’ve been intending to convert into Bob’s office.
Not surprisingly, Bob reported that this might be the best set of Father’s Day gifts he’s ever received. And we didn’t spend a penny.
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