If I were to construct a Frugal Bible -- which is to say, assemble a collection of writings that have most influenced my personal philosophy of thrift -- I’d stick Jeff Yeager, author of “The Ultimate Cheapskate’s Road Map to True Riches,” somewhere in the New Testament.
He’s too outrageous to be a frugal forefather, and besides, that’s where he comes in the timeline: decades behind “The Good Life” pioneers Scott and Helen Nearing, nearly two centuries behind Thoreau, and a good 15 years behind legendary miser matron Amy Dacyczyn, author of “The Tightwad Gazette.”
The casual reader might say he’s more of a cheapskate comedian than a philosopher. But since this is my Bible, I’d vote him in for the simple reason that his audacity helped me finally develop a backbone after 15 years of self-imposed (but overly self-conscious) thrift.
So what do I make of the fact that a couple of my biblical hero’s claims -- that it’s possible to boil eggs in both a dishwasher and the filter basket of a coffeemaker -- didn’t pan out when we tested them in our homeschool “laboratory?”
When I posted our findings on our homeschool message board, I was taken to task for getting suckered by an urban legend. But I’m willing to give Yeager the benefit of the doubt.
For one thing, knowing the lengths Frugals go to test their theories (myself included), I doubt he gave up after just one try. He may have had to do some tinkering to make his miracle happen. Can you adjust the temperature setting on a dishwasher? Beats me. But I bet Yeager knows the answer to that one.
The other thing is, Frugals are often willing to put up with hardships that so-called normal people wouldn’t dream of subjecting themselves to. In this case, I’m willing to believe that the eggs we found too disgusting to eat might be the picture of soft-boiled perfection in Yeager’s eyes.
At any rate, unlike the authors of the actual Bible, the man who wrote the Book of Cheapskate still walks this earth. So I’m planning to ask him.
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